There’s no such thing as safe sex in the office

They may seem harmless, but office romances can cause problems within companies. Here’s advice from human resources consultant Edgar S. Ellman for distributors who want to protect themselves.

We hear a lot about sexual harassment these days. Big corporations have paid out some pretty huge cash awards because some folks just can’t contain their attraction to others of the opposite hormonal persuasion.

But what about consensual sex in the workplace? Is this a problem in your company? Is there any hanky panky going on that you don’t know about? Or that you do know about?

Even worse, is there an illicit relationship that everyone knows about? Does it affect morale and productivity?

Maybe an ongoing relationship exists between two employees, one or both of whom is married. Maybe neither is married but one person holds a supervisory position over the other.

What we are talking about here is a “welcome” relationship, having nothing to do with sexual harassment. But is it a healthy relationship? Is it something that somehow affects everyone else in the office or warehouse?

The problem comes to a head when you get a complaint from someone who feels uncomfortable about what’s going on. If that employee decides that the romance has created a harassing situation in the work environment, you are obligated to investigate. You can’t tell them to look the other way.

Of course, dating, sex and romance between employees may be acceptable, but rarely between people of unequal power or authority. You need to establish a company policy about consensual relationships because it can help avoid a sexual harassment complaint. Not counting legal costs, the New York Times reports that the average judgment in a successful harassment suit is $250,000.

Office romances between unequals can lead to trouble, not only when they go on and on, but also when they turn sour. Then, both parties still work for the company, often in positions requiring close staff or supervisory relations. Someone stops talking to someone, someone doesn’t get a promotion and, before you know it, you have an explosive situation on your hands.

If you know of a romance taking place, especially between unequals, maybe it is time to step in before the problem becomes worse. Like most problems, they usually worsen over time.

What can you do as the owner/manager of a distribution firm where relationships are quite likely with people working closely together?

Chicago human resources consultant Edgar S. Ellman suggests the following.

1) If the romance is between unequals, call in the higher level person first and ask if it is true. Get a yes or no answer before proceeding.

2) If it is true, then call in the other party and talk to them together. Explain that you need to make sure that the relationship is consensual. Say that you are asking this confidentially and that you won’t go back to anyone’s spouse. Tell them you have had complaints. Tell them that you frown on it as a matter of company policy.

3) If the relationship is between a supervisor and his or her subordinate, break up that part of it right away. Transfer or re-assign jobs so that their work does not keep them together. This may not be as easy as it sounds in a small firm, of course.

4) What if the affair involves marital infidelity on the part of one or both? Now you have a different situation; you just got yourself in the middle of things because you now know that some immoral things are coming down. It’s happening right in your office. There’s no such thing as safe sex in the office. You have to try to make the two of them wake up, particularly if you are reasonably sure that others in the company know about it. Were you the last one to find out?

5) Suggest counseling. If you’re feeling generous, offer to help pay for some of the costs. Impress them with the fact that what they are doing is creating a clear appearance of improper conduct and that it makes some people uncomfortable. Explain further that unless things change, you may have to terminate both of them. (If you only fire one, you may wind up with a sex discrimination charge). Make certain they understand that when a person in power elects to start a relationship with a person under their supervision, they always endanger the status of their position.

6) If counseling doesn’t help, if you are sure the ongoing romance affects operations, particularly if complaints from others smack of sexual harassment, and if a transfer is not possible, then face reality and lower the axe.

7) Add a new policy to your employee handbook, stating that romantic relationships between people in unequal positions and relationships that involve marital infidelity will not be tolerated.

Understanding that immoral or office romances between unequals can disrupt your operations should be the principle on which you act. Others in the workplace usually feel they have a grievance, and the courts have accepted these complaints as valid evidence that the company has not taken appropriate action in such cases.

The last thing you need is to have a couple of employees quit and file complaints with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Right?

For a copy of Ellman's free checklist of 56 employee policies, contact him at 300 N. State St., Chicago, IL 60610, or FAX .

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