Progressive Distributor - The great how are you debate

The great "How are you?" debate

Is it an ice-breaker or a turn off? Debating the effectiveness of a simple question.

by Art Sobczak

How are you today?" It's a question that sparks emotional discussion, leaving many salespeople to ask, "Should you ask prospects or customers how they are at the beginning of calls?" It depends on how you use it. Let's start by looking at why you use this question to start your call.

The case for
It breaks the ice. People are conditioned to engage in "ice breaking" at the beginning of a conversation. When you meet someone face to face, you typically exchange niceties as you shake hands before getting down to business. Granted, it might be a throwaway phrase, but the intent is to diffuse any tension and ease into the conversation.

It gets the other person involved. If you immediately jump into an opening statement (or worse, a presentation), it's like a one-way monologue. By asking someone how he or she is doing, that person is involved in the call from the beginning, usually in a positive way.

The case against
It screams out "Salesperson!" Opponents argue that saying "How are you?" only warns the prospect a sales pitch is on the way. Because it takes a few seconds to ask the question and get an answer, it allows the listener time to plot his escape from the salesperson.

Why intentionally serve up something that's sure to create resistance? Most people don't believe you really care how they are. Many people feel if someone doesn't know you, he or she doesn't care how you are, so why use it?

It invites unwanted responses. In his book, "Profiting by Phone,"
Jim Domanski notes the main reason you shouldn't use the phrase "How are you today?" is that you could get a response you'd rather not hear. For example, "I have a splitting migraine headache you wouldn't believe."

Prospects want to know why you're calling, quickly. Face it, you don't know each other and all they care about is who you are, why you're calling and, most importantly, what you can do for them, if anything.

It can put you at a disadvantage and fluster you. Anyone who has used this opener and experienced silence that felt like an eternity can vouch for this point.

So what should you do?
There's no conclusive answer or cardinal rule. Using it depends on:

The degree of familiarity you have with prospects. The better the relationship, the more likely it may help. The more you can personalize it, the more meaningful it becomes. "Hi, Pat, it's Bill at Acme Supply. How did your trade show go?"

The prospect's personality. You must read the prospect's mood and personality quickly, based on how he answers the phone. A cheerful greeting likely means you'll have more success with the question compared to the stern, rushed response, "Robert Smith here."

Regions of the country. It is widely accepted that the phrase gets better reception in Southern states than in the Northeast.

Your attitude. I've seen some reps who swear by its use. Their personality exudes friendliness and caring. They can melt through any grouchy greeting and turn even the grumpiest people into civil human beings. Other sales reps cringe when the topic is even mentioned and would never allow those words to form on their lips. Yet others adapt to the situation at hand and use it accordingly (that's me, too).

Alternative approaches
If you feel comfortable diffusing tension at the beginning of a call - perceived or otherwise - consider varying the "How are you?" phrase. Try, "How is your Tuesday morning going so far?"

You can tell your prospect how he's doing. "You sound like you're having a great day." Or, "It's good to speak with you today."

You can also thank the prospect for taking time out to listen to what you have to say. "Thanks for taking my call."

Art Sobczak helps salespeople use the phone to prospect, sell and manage accounts more successfully. Call or reach him via e-mail at .